www.1123rf.com

My friend Wendee became a flight attendant when she was 50 years old. That was about 20 years ago and I’ll never forget the day I met her- a small, petite woman with short silver/white hair and a glint in her eye.

We soon became like sisters, even though she is a good 20 or so years older than me and we started bidding trips together. Did you see the movie Thelma and Louise? That was us!

Wendee was renting her house in Seattle and moved to San Francisco where we were based with United Airlines. I was commuting from Portland, Oregon and her place became my “stew pad.” . One day about a year later, Wendee decided to move back to Seattle and asked if I’d move there also and be her house mate.

Can you picture 2 tiny gals in the middle of San Fran looking at the huge Ryder truck filled with Wendee’s things?

www.ryder.com

“I’m not going to drive that thing- you drive it!” “No- YOU drive it!”

Somehow Wendee got up the nerve and took the wheel and had so much fun driving it, that I decided to take a turn. Pretty soon we were fighting for the keys! LOL

It was an amazing trip up Hwy 101 , through Ashland Oregon, to Portland where we collected my things and up to Seattle…..

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Shortly after, I left flying to move back east to spend time with my Dad before he passed away .

I’d been living in Asheville for about 10 years, when Wendee retired, sold her Seattle home and headed around the country in her 26′ RV. When she got to Western NC she called me up, announced “I’m here” and never left.

And now in her 70′s, Wendee is ready to get back to Seattle where her kids have all returned to, while she is still capable of the long trip .

So I’m about to help Wendee  drive her 3 small animals and her belongings across the country.

But this is more than a road trip-

I am about to embark on a Rite  of Passage with my dear friend.

And in keeping the spirit of that Lyna of 20 years ago,  whip up the courage of traveling across country in a big Penske truck …

to have what may end up being my final adventure with this lady who has shared so much of my life…..

As I drove by the small area with a creek that I found him and his 4 siblings near 15 years ago, I realized that life is all about choices.

What if my boyfriend Derick and I had not chosen to turn around and collect these kittens to find them good homes?

They were only a few weeks old and very sweet–that is- until we put out food for them. Although there  had been the creek to drink from, it was obvious that they hadn’t eaten for quite a while and there is nothing sweet about baby  animals fighting for food.

We found good homes for 3 of the kittens. Derick wanted to keep the 2 gray ones- Po and Doodles. Because he was in a place that didn’t allow pets, I offered to keep them while he found a place to live that did.

Needless to say, Po and Doodles made me a lady with 4 inside cats.

In 2005, Po developed  an infection and that year I spent a lot of time and money trying to heal him until he passed on. In 2006 and 2008 my older girls went to Rainbow Bridge as well.

And then there was just Doodles.

Through all those years, I never really spent much time with him. Doodles was either sleeping on a closet shelf or shadowing and loving up to  his favorite older sister Liliput. So I never really got to know him until the others- who all wanted my attention were no longer here.

So now I think about choices and how if I had not made the choice to go back for those abandoned kittens 15 years ago- if they even  survived – they would probably have lived a ferrel life-scavaging for food and never knowing love.

I never would have  gone through such an agonizing year caring for my dying “fur kid” Po, who I still grieve for from time to time.

And I never would have come to know how a furry animal could help me come through some real emotional low months in my life.

Doodles- you may not give me backrubs, or make me dinner, but you bring me so much joy.You spoon with me every night, you wait eagerly for me to come home every day and you’ve taught me how to be vulnerable to love.

I’m so glad I made the choice I did that day I found you.

Happy Birthday Mr. Doodles

It started with a small book of poetry. One of my flying partners gave it to me-sharing that she met the author, Neville Cloleman on a flight and that she felt the book was meant to be  mine.

“Fly with me, on the winds of time….Set yor Spirit free,  and I’ll paint rainbows in your eyes, for all …ee…ter…nity.”-Neville Coleman

This poet had touched my heart and I had to meet him. So I wrote him a letter and we became penpals.

Soon after, on the 4th of July, I called Australia so he could hear the firework celebration that we Americans have. A few weeks after that , I flew to his home in Brisbane.

What a leprechun of a man he was. There was something magical about him.

Yet when we arrived at his remote house, he told me that he was a hermit–a true loner.  And as I spent the few days with him, I realized that Neville had a very sad -almost haunting side to him and his life. He claimed to have no family, and his friends were the creatures of the world -especially those of the ocean. He was an avid scuba diver and published the first underwater photography magazine in Australia.

Neville took me to the Rain Forest and we had a delightful picnic amidst this land of giant trees. I have a photo somewhere of me looking so small standing next to one of them.  I was so grateful that this quiet, gentle man took time away from his love of diving to share a bit of his Australian world with me.

And yet, he may have been a bit dissappointed by some of my young American attitudes. (He was 20 years my senior) and when I departed, we lost touch.

Today I learned that Neville Coleman died last year on May 5th and as I googled his life, I was amazed at all that this kind man  had achieved. I had no idea what a precious gem he was to the scientific underwater community.

“Neville Coleman has achieved excellence in many fields of self-taught expertise, including his career as an underwater explorer, naturalist and environmental photographer, photojournalist, educator, conservationist, philosopher, publisher and even as a poet, becoming to one of the most accomplished underwater natural history authors in the world. Recently (he was) awarded the Order of Australia Medal OAM- and in 2007 the naturalist Neville Coleman was inducted to the International Scuba Diving Hall Of Fame. He said on that occasion: “I realized that in the water it doesn’t matter what shaped peg you are……… round or square? UNDERWATER, everybody fits!”                –from the obit of Neville Coleman

How I wish I had been more mindful back then..more present when I was with him.

Loner that he was, he shared with me a part of himself that very few had ever known…

and  he could have taught me so much more about the meaning of life.–had I, the student been ready……

“Disguised it lies behind the eyes….. it’s there for all to find.                                    The secret source within yourself…….your magic power mind.”                                                                                                                  -Neville  Coleman

www.nevillecoleman.com.au

It all started last Feb when my friend Karen had a birthday lunch and asked us all to donate money to Chainfree Asheville. Not knowing about this local nonprofit, and being such an animal lover, I was excited to learn more.

I found out that Peggy Irwin (the owner of a B & B) was the catalyst in helping dogs in the area to get off their chains and have a fenced- in area to run in.

www.chainfreeasheville.org

Peggy heard of a meeting on chained dogs in 2008 , where the Asheville City Council announced it was reviewing its animal ordinances. So, within weeks she had made contacts and gathered a few kindred souls to hold an informal gathering at the North Asheville Library…and so the seed was planted.

In November 2008 CFA built their first fence for three dogs in West Asheville. They had a grateful owner and a large turnout for the Sunday build. Several other chained dogs got their freedom during the next few months. By Spring of 2009, Peggy had fought through all the red tape and had established CFA as a 501 (c) 3 non-profit organization, had raised more money, and begun her strategy to change the City ordinance.

Fence building and the education of the general public about chaining continues as CFA works with animal control to help eligible people to be compliant with the new ordinance.

You and I  donate our time and money to causes that we identify with. As a child, my cousin had a german shepard that was always on a chain on the front stoop that was 5 steps high. One day during a severe thunderstorm, afraid of the lightening, the dog – still chained- jumped to her death-which affected me greatly.

So Chainfree Asheville has been getting monthly donations from me since I first heard about it at Karen’s birthday lunch.

www.chainfreeasheville.org

And because I wanted to get up close and personal with some of the dogs that my funds helped build fences for, I spent a couple of days before Christmas- with Karen- visiting about a dozen houses that CFA built fences for. We checked on the area to make sure it was clean and had a doghouse with bedding and food and water. We brought toys and treats and spent time with the dogs and heard their stories from their owners.

It was the best Christmas gift I could have asked for.

CFA’s founder, Peggy Irwin developed cancer and made her transition on Oct 14th 2012- but her legacy – www.chainfreeasheville.org , lives on, and I am so glad to be part of it.

photo of peggy Irwin by www.chainfreeasheville.org

photo from Career portfolio

The Concept: Invite the community to share the spirit of giving by writing a letter about  someone who has a big heart and touches the lives of others.

The Gift: A free room makeover for the recipient of the letter that touches us the most.

The How: We contacted the editor of WNC Women Magazine and she was excited to be involved. The invite was published in the Nov issue, the winning letter  with photos of the writer and recipient in the Dec issue and the big reveal would be in the Jan issue. (Until an unexpected twist)

Nominations came flooding in, sharing stories of wonderful friends, family members  and acquaintances -inspirational stories of people helping people. It was a difficult task to choose just one winner.  But in the end Gayle Sovinee- who spent the last 6 years developing the non profit Helios Warriors- a holistic treatment center for veterans , was chosen.

But when we called to notify Gayle that she won the free makeover for a room in her home, she asked if she could re-gift it to a new office space they were creating for Helios Warriors.

So our free room make-over became so much more:

More: Because of the generous sponsors that donated furniture, accessories, personalized artwork, paint for walls , handmade curtains, photography and videotography and even a mini vacation in a B&B for Gayle.

More- because we actually “made-over” 3 treatment rooms, a meditation room. the bathroom and the reception area.

Helios Warriors meditation room

More: In the number of volunteers that gave their talents , skills and labor in constructing and priming the walls and electrical work.

More: In meeting some of the veterans that Helios helps and hearing their stories..

More: because the big reveal also involved a ribbon cutting with the mayor

More: because the progress of the makeover was actually written up in WNC woman Magazine in Jan, Feb and March with the big reveal in the April issue.

More: because the other letters sent in were featured throughout the year in issues of WNC magazine

We never imagined how big  this spirit of giving would be!

You can read more about Gayle and Helios Warriors in my Jan 2012 post (http://inthecreativespirit.com/2012/01)

Gayle at the Big Reveal

And you can read more about the room makeover at these links:

http://www.wncwoman.com/2011/10/28/a-chance-to-pay-it-forward/

http://www.wncwoman.com/2011/11/30/winner-of-the-freen-room-make-over/

http://www.wncwoman.com/2012/01/02/the-room-make-over-gift-project/

http://www.wncwoman.com/2012/02/01/the-room-make-over-gift-project-2/

http://www.wncwoman.com/2012/03/02/the-room-make-over-gift-project-3/

http://www.wncwoman.com/2012/04/04/room-makeover-project-final-update/

Helga Weber- flicker photo

And yet there were many moments when I would get impatient with people,  upset at drivers and grumble in other ways -keeping me away from my joy.

So one day I created a daily mantra “Open my heart completely that I may have true compassion and be of service to the world.”

And every morning since, I have made a ritual of saying that mantra and then listing my gratitudes -both in journals and  vocally while I was driving to my first destination of the day.  And I would find my days flowing smoothly.

And yet- I started to feel the rest of my days going back to the old habits of getting irritated by little things. .

…Until  a dream I had a few weeks ago, where I was shown by a dream guide how to FEEL completely thankful for EVERYTHING. .. by breathing  gratitude through my heart and visualizing everything with warmth and thanks..

And yesterday I was given affirmation of it’s worth:

I went out to my car to head out to the golf course to walk and then go to the grocery store. Yet my car wouldn’t start. My lights had not been on all night, there had been no indication that this would happen. Was it a bad battery, or my altinator?.

www.auto123.com

A new transmission was put in my car 17 months ago and it’s never been up to par since, but every day I had felt love and gratitude for it’s detemination to get me to my destinations. I call my car my velveteen rabbit–so loved by me, but so worn.

I called for a tow and realized that  I was NOT getting upset and overwrought because I was put out and I wasn’t worried about the money I would most likely need to spend to fix it.-

I was feeling  gratitude for it being a Sunday- and not needing to be somewhere and for being within walking distance of both the grocery store and  my mechanic. I knew I could reschedule my Monday with ease. I was comfortably at home and not 2 hours away where I had driven back and forth everyday last week.

My cat and I played  while I was waiting , and when “Red” showed up, he suggested we tow it to the auto supply store for a new battery. Oh- that’s a hopeful thought- but what if it’s not the battery? So “Red” had me pop my hood- then he moved a plug and asked me to start the car–and it did start!

I didn’t have to spend any money, I didn’t have to change my schedule on Monday…and as I headed to my walking spot an hour later, I ran into a friend I haven’t seen in a while. An added gift!

I came across this quote from Meister Eckhart and I now know how true it is:

If the only prayer you say in your life is ‘thank you,’ that would suffice. –

kharied / photo on flickr

Have you felt the magic of gratitude in your life?

Do you remember the movie “Pay it Forward”?

I love its message: if you help someone in some way and ask only that that person  helps someone else (pay it forward), a beautiful flow of heartfelt energy will eventually circle the world.

Idealistic? Perhaps.

Yet when I asked Laine Discepoli and Jane Drew (my cohorts in The House That Faux Built, NOLA Habitat House project), what prompted them to step up to the plate and take on hours of phone calls, emails, meetings, brainstorm sessions and being ambassadors for this event – while still managing their business’ and families?  Lane simply said: “I want to pay it forward.”

While helping her husband battle a serious illness this past year, Laine was touched by the endless support and offerings shown to them by others. Even the simplest act of kindness was huge. So when Adrienne Vandooren put the word out that the proceeds of the book The House That Faux Built had raised enough money to build a Habitat House for a Katrina victim, Laine contacted her and said she wanted to help. After all, she just may be the biggest fan of the book. Since it’s been published, Laine has constantly used it to help get ideas for jobs, as well as to help educate her clients and students of the endless possibilities our craft has. Not sure if she could pull it off or not, Laine took the responsibility of Sponsor chair. Can you imagine asking for donations without knowing what materials are needed because the client has not made any decisions? And yet Laine did a remarkable job.

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When Hurricane Katrina hit, Jane and her family had been living in New Orleans for 24 years and her Decorative Arts business Creative Finishes was well established.

I can only imagine the devastation she felt when the place she calls home was destroyed. Yet in the short time I’ve known her, Jane has been upbeat, positive and filled with gratitude for all the help and support others have shown in efforts to rebuild New Orleans. When she learned of the desire for the PDCA to come and create beautiful finishes in some New Orleans buildings last year, she volunteered to find some locations to do so, and became their project manager. Despite the long hours and hard work, Jane found this experience so rewarding, that she jumped on the chance to be the Local coordinator for the Habitat project. Her passion is to turn others on to the magic that New Orleans has, and without her energy and commitment, it would have been almost impossible to coordinate the finishes we will be doing in the house or to be prepared to do a mural in the SPCA. If it weren’t for Jane’s contacts and tenacity, we wouldn’t have been offered a charming historic B&B in which to stay for such an affordable rate – nor would we have tools, drop cloths, ladders, etc. ready to use when we arrive..

And so I acknowledge these two beautiful, amazing ladies who exude the energy of giving back.

Let me be a Blessing to Someone Today.

Little did I know the impact these words would have.

After going to a consultation, I went to Earthfare to get myself an Yerba Matte latte- and as I was headed back to my car, I noticed a small crowd in the corner of the building. They were watching a mother duck and her 7 very small babies.

I found out that a lady named Julie had found them in the parking lot headed toward the major highway–and that the male duck had died from a car hitting it. Why mama duck gave birth here with so much concrete and not in a place with grass and water was a mystery, but it was obvious that they had little chance of getting to a safe place without our help.

Have you ever tried to capture a scared bird?

Julie called the office that took care of the local lake  in South Asheville and they called their “duck lady” Mary-who was on her way to the lake. When she arrived where we were, she had a cat kennel with her, but unfortunately not a net. So the 6 of us that couldn’t leave until we knew the ducks were safe, decided to gather around the “family” as they crouched together in the corner. As we shuffled as one unit, we bent over each other forming  layers of arms and bodies.

All of a sudden moma bird tried to fly away- through the arms of the gal below me and right up at me–it happened so fast…but I caught her!

WHEW!

As Mary held unto her, the rest of us scrambled to collect the 7 ducklings who were now running in all directions. They were so small and so soft we had to be careful not to hurt them.

With moma and her kids now safely in the cat carrier, we all took our cars -in convoy style- to the lake to welcome them to their new home.

It was so beautiful to see mom take off for the water with all 7 of them close at her rump- like the train of a wedding dress…and I was able to see first hand that ducks are born knowing how to swim.

Julie had her mother and daughter with her through this and Mary and I stood and spoke with them for a while. Mary shared stories of the ducks she needed to help on the lake and Julie shared memories of growing up in the country with her mom helping so many different animals – and being such a role model to her that Julie is now able to do the same for her daughter.

A few days later I returned to the lake  to see if I could find my family of ducks. I sat on the bench and within a few minutes they swam toward me- moma and all 7 . Moma came out of the water up to me looking straight into my eyes. After a few seconds, she quaked twice as if to say “Thank you” and led her kids  back out in the lake.

As I watched them slowly swin happliy away, I thought about the beautiful ladies I had met through this.  Mary, Julie and her mom all live  through their hearts on a daily basis, putting aside their own schedules when they see a call for help.

Since I’ve been asking for my heart to open up completely,  I’ve been meeting more people who’s heart are.

And now when I asked to be a blessing to someone— in the end I was the one who received the biggest blessing.

For example, why do men who get to play ball for a living make millions of dollars, when people who work in filthy, unsafe places like steel factories and coal mines (which are important to keep our nation going) barely make enough to feed their families?

And why don’t wealthy people show more compassion and do more for those who struggle?

SO when I heard about the reality TV show “Secret Millionaire,” I just had to see it.

Each episode features a millionaire who disquises him /herself as someone who is filming a documentary on volunteering- goes into a poor area of the country, stays in a low income house with only the amount of welfare money (app $40-$60) to live on for  6 days . His/her mission is to find and volunteer at 2 or 3 places that work toward making the life of those living in that area , a better place.

www.park-volunteerpublishing.net

Many of these givers seem to be catered to keeping kids from getting into trouble, some toward feeding the homeless, or cleaning huge amounts of trash off the streets.

At the end of the week, the millionaire then donates thousands of  dollars to each of these “charities” , according to how he/she was affected by them.

Yet this is not just another feel good show. There are several reasons why I love it so much:

1 – “Secret Millionaire” allows me to FEEL  how life is for so many people who have been finacially hurt by the economy or other means. This helps me not only appreciate my own life more, but opens my heart in a bigger way  to those less fortunate.

2-The show inspires me to volunteer and find ways to give back even more  in my own community..

2-The show allows the charities and  do-gooders to have much needed exposure that may bring them funding . Many of the founders have dedicated their lives to helping others even if they have little income themselves.

3-Most of all, each episode shows me how the millionaire becomes affected by their time helping others in this “up close and personal” way. They start to break their own emotional barriers and open  their hearts more.

www.toysperiod.com

The experience brings them emotionally closer to their own families and friends, and gives them a new perspective in what’s really important . A few even said that they now realize that they were never happier then during this week when they were helping others in this way- so much that they are downsizing their “toys” and spending time mentoring some of the people they bonded with while volunteering.

I’d like to think that the “Secret Millioniare” is helping to change the unbalance of the world .

And it’s about time.

What are your thoughts?

photo by Alin Petrus

When I was a child, I had an invisible friend who cheered me up when I was sad, taught me things I didn’t know, and hugged me when I felt lonely. It didn’t matter that no one else could see her or thought that I made her up -she was always real to me.

As an adult, my “imaginary” friend is still with me, but is more subtle in the way she communicates.  And I am pleased to find more and more people are starting to accept what they refer to as “angels” watching over them.

Many years ago, I was at my friend Suzanne’s house, and she was telling me about her angel “Penny”.

” How do you know to call her Penny?” I asked.

“Everytime I need a hug, or find something I thought I’d never see again, a penny appears,” she explained.  ”For example, one day, I was staring at the rug, very upset over something and I called out to Penny. When I looked at the rug again, a penny was there. ”

I realized that I never had a name for my invisible friend! As a child, it seemed natural to just feel her and not have to identify her. But now, I really wanted to have a word association.   But how do I find out what it would be?

“Ask her” Suzanne replied.

As I was driving home from Suzanne’s house, I said out loud, “OK–what do I call you?” and in that moment 5 things happened at once:    1- The radio flipped to the Jeremiah was a Bullfroog song- Joy to the world…2-a car cut in front of me with the tag 444Joy…3- I passed a billboard that said “Joy to the World”….4- I had a flashback from Jr High- I was watching a christmas contata and 2 guys and a girl were singing “Joy, Joy, Joy”- then the girl sitting next to me leaned over and said “Today is the girl’s birthday and her name is Joy”…and 5- I felt an incredible wave of Joy fill my heart.

A few months later, as I was headed home from a long work day, I was passing an antique barn I had never been in before and had the urge to stop in. “Not now, I thought, I’m too tired.” But the urging got stronger and so I stopped. As I went through the door the shopkeeper told me she was closing in 5 minutes. “That’s all I need.” I told her as I walked quickly- feeling led -to the back booths. On the table, I saw a small white porcelain angel with it’s hand up and in it–was a penny. I immediately thought of Suzanne, then realized that it was her birthday! I thanked  ”joy” as I picked it up to purchase.

But wait-behind the angel , on the table, was a frame that had 3 artfully illuminated letters matted together  in the perfect colors for my living room.

Was this a gift to me for paying attention and following the nudge to find Suzanne’s gift?

I wake up to it every day  and am reminded to be mindful and  trust the nudges when they come–and to know that my life is about being in Joy.

Do you have an angel story ?